Edenian Porn? Totally Not Worth It
by Cold Recluse
Summary: A rewrite of my original one-shot, Terror of the Labyrinth, this one has an alternate ending. Smoke and Tundra rethink their decision to bully Sub-Zero once more upon remembering how badly their Grandmaster beat 'em, and the sad part is that it was all because of Smoke's discovery of Edenian porn. *The events in this story are completely separate from Smoky Passion and Icy Solace.*


**A/N:** Despite the amount of views and favorites that the original story received, I've decided to re-write this mini-fic since I don't like how it turned out. This is a more light-hearted version of the original, and it includes witty banter. I'm on a writer's block with my other stories, and I can only hope that you all enjoy this quick-fic. Reviews are always welcome!

* * *

_Prelude_

* * *

**(Scorpion's POV)**

I was on my way to the Lin Kuei base in the arctic wilderness of northern China in Earthrealm to rendezvous with Smoke and Tundra. Apparently my enemy, Sub-Zero, had been the sole cause of my two new tentative allies to get beaten by their Grandmaster.

Despite being aware of the fact that Sub-Zero had not have been the one who'd exterminated my family and clan, my nature as a Netherrealm spectre had me itching for a nice fight - even if not physical. I just wanted to see Sub-Zero melt; for him to show us all how much of a pansy he really was under that tough guy persona.

Upon my arrival to the Lin Kuei stronghold, I silently weaved my way inside without being detected. I soon found myself standing in front of the closed door which blocked my entry to the storage room. I silently knocked on it, and after a few moments of waiting, Tundra opened the door and let me in.

"Hello, Hanzo," he greeted with a honorable bow.

"Hello, Kuai Liang," I said, keeping my white-eyed glare focused on the oblivious Sub-Zero. He sat beside Smoke, and from what I was able to see, the eldest Cryomancer was playing some sort of computer game, and it appeared to be a maze.

_Hmm, interesting._

Tundra noticed my intense stare in Bi-Han's direction, however. He whispered to me, "We're going to get him with this game. It's called _Scary Maze."_

My eye twitched. "What is the object of this game, if I may ask?"

Tundra smirked. "He has to make it to the end of the maze, basically. But when he does, a scary picture is going to pop up on the screen from out of nowhere. If that's not bad enough, loud screaming will be emitted at high frequencies from the speakers," he explained with an excited grin.

"Ah," I said. I was a dead man. As much as I hated Sub-Zero, I didn't care enough to see him play some silly computer game. However, I just stood there and watched as the Cryomancer silently concentrated on the game.

The three of us quietly watched as Sub-Zero made his way towards the very end of the maze on the computer screen. Once he'd made it to the exit–

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Bi-Han yelled suddenly. A picture of some demonic blonde woman with a wretched face popped up on the screen unexpectedly, and the loud shrieking blaring from the computer speakers caused Bi-Han to literally charge his right fist with his Kori powers and do the unthinkable.

Tundra and Smoke cackled in undeniable hysteria as they watched Sub-Zero slam his frozen fist through the computer monitor. He was was frantically screaming as he jumped from his seat, clearly afraid and trembling from the high levels of adrenaline.

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!" Sub-Zero yelled out in a hysterical rage, "This is _not _funny! Why the fuck did you do this to me!?"

Bi-Han cried and screamed incoherently, clutching the crotch of his training pants that were now drenched in his own urine. It didn't take long for him to unconsciously freeze his pants, either.

* * *

_Later that evening..._

* * *

**(3rd Person POV)**

It had been a while since the nursemaids had come to the storage room at the back of the Lin Kuei temple to restrain a still manic Sub-Zero. It took several of them to calm him, but the Cryomancer had retaliated. He had lashed out, trying to kill anyone who dared to approach him while in this mentally unstable state.

The Grandmaster had ordered a multitude of Lin Kuei guards to subdue the crazed Sub-Zero, and they did not succeed until they finally got an opening. Once that opportunity struck, one of the stronger guards had managed to club Bi-Han in the back of the head near the cerebrum. Due to the blunt impact, Sub-Zero had finally fallen unconscious. The guards placed the sleeping ice-wielder on a gurney and kept him in the infirmary until the Grandmaster himself felt that Sub-Zero was well enough to be released.

Little did the comatose Cryomancer know, however, that his fellow Lin Kuei were in the mess hall during dinner that evening, gossiping about what had happened three hours prior.

"What did Scorpion do the whole time?" asked a very curious Cyrax. Sektor was sitting beside him to the right, with Tundra at Smoke's immediate left.

"He just stood there, completely unfazed," the Enenra reported, lazily stabbing at his egg roll with a chopstick.

"Well, yeah," Tundra chimed in, taking a bite of his egg foo young. He chewed on his food for a moment. "Hanzo's a dead man. He only feels apathy, anger, and hatred. Nothing more, nothing less," he finished after swallowing his food.

"And so is Tomas," Sektor finally piped up, a mischievious smirk tugging at his lips. "But unlike Scorpion, Smoke's already avenged his death, and then some. Right Tomas?"

The Enenra said nothing as rolled his eyes. Instead, he playfully tossed a fortune cookie at the Grandmaster's son. Tundra and Cyrax looked on with _very _interested eyes as the red-clad male unwrapped the fortune cookie and snapped it in half.

"What's it say?" Tundra asked. He had a weird obsession with fortune cookies ever since early childhood. The other men observed as Sektor read the inscription from the little piece of paper.

"It says, 'Those who hide behind a facade are always the weakest.'"

Kuai Liang and Tomas looked at each other with wide eyes before laughing again. Sektor and Cyrax merely stared at the two best friends with stupefied expressions.

"What the hell is so funny?" they asked the laughing pair in perfect unison.

"That shit sounds like my fucking brother!" cried the younger Cryomancer as the other three men rolled their eyes and continued with their meal...

* * *

_Now..._

* * *

**(Sub-Zero's POV)**

It's been quite a while since I'd last encountered my nemesis, Scorpion, and my younger brother was still pestering me about the very humiliating moment that had transpired not even five months earlier. Most people in the Lin Kuei didn't understand why this was so disturbing to me, especially since I am generally the type of man to never give a fuck about anything. If something bothered me, I'd never let it be known. As it was, I've always been known to my clanbrothers to be the epitome of cool, calm, and collected.

But this incident? It _traumatized_ me. I couldn't stand the thought of reliving that moment of my life ever again.

The incident I'm speaking of was very significant, and it involved some sort of creepy video game. I don't even want to go into details, but I'll just say that the impact was intense, and negatively so because it sparked unusual fear from within me. It was so bad that I ended up suffering from a severe psychological break from reality. Although I'm back to my normal stoic self, however, Tundra isn't making it any easier for me to forget about it, especially due to the fact that he _still_ thinks the sight of me losing face is hilarious.

I let out a sigh as I tried to focus on my meditation techniques, but it proved to be atypically difficult because I felt Tundra's amused gaze boreing into the back of my head. Opening my eyes in defeat, I turned to face him with an irritated scowl on my face. My sibling merely kept looking at me regardless, and I knew that he was smirking. Of course, he had his facemask on, but that slight crinkle around his eyes pretty much gave it all away, and I eventually found myself wanting to punch him.

_If he doesn't stop, I'm going to hit him,_ I thought dismally.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance, standing up from my meditation mat. As I rolled it and carried it to my closet, I turned to face my brother. I knew that he wouldn't speak unless I spoke first, so I sighed again in defeat and decided to acknowledge his presence.

"Tundra, what do you want?" I asked, while leaning against the wall beside my closet door.

Kuai Liang chuckled at the seething annoyance in my tone of voice, which I didn't notice until a few moments later. Much to my chagrin, however, he ignored my inquiry. Of course he would.

_Smart-ass..._

With a scowl, I watched as Tundra stood from where he sat on the opposite side of our quarters. He casually walked toward me while shaking his head in mirth, and that was when I assumed that he was going to bully me again. Exasperatedly, I formed a Kori sword and pointed the sharp tip of it at my brother's face. Sure enough, Kuai Liang swiped it away with an amused chuckle.

"Tundra," I started again with a growl, "I'm not going to ask you again. What do you want?" I had to make it clear that I did not want to be bothered. For Raiden's sake, I was fucking meditating!

Well, more like _trying _to...

Just when I thought that I would have to shove my ice blade up his butt, Tundra finally relented and decided to speak. "My goodness, Bi-Han. Lighten up already," he chided.

Kuai Liang promptly smacked me on my shoulder before quietly plopping himself belly-first onto my bed. I simply grunted in response with another one of my infamous eye rolls as he rolled onto his back and winked at me.

Normally, Tundra was not this bothersome. He only annoyed me whenever he was with our fellow clanbrother. This clanbrother was a somewhat new recruit, code-name Smoke, and he was an Enenra that the Grandmaster's seekers found during a stake-out some time ago in rural Prague. I personally didn't like Smoke all that much because of his absurd sense of humor, but I tolerated his presence. Of course, lame ass Kuai Liang found his jests to be funny. Not to mention that they always spent time with one another, which was why I was well-aware of the fact that the Enenra's behavior had managed to rub off on my brother.

"You've been hanging around Tomas a bit too much. You're normally never this annoying," I remarked with full honesty. Kuai Liang merely laughed, audaciously flipping the bird as he sat up and removed his mask and cowl.

"Man, whatever. Quit the bitching. You're clearly not over that prank. It's understandable and all, but let's be real here. You seriously deserved that," Tundra admonished while smoothing his dark hair back.

This smart-mouthed brother of mine just _had _to remind me of that incident. With an angry snarl, I retorted, "If you don't stop while you're ahead, I am going to kill you. I'll make sure that the Grandmaster doesn't learn of this when it happens."

My brother laughed. "Nice threat, but I'm not taking it seriously because I know you'd never do it. You love me too much to eliminate me."

Before I could respond with one of my sharp insults, the door to our chamber suddenly flew open. It was Smoke, and he stood proudly in the middle of our doorway with his arms crossed over his armored chest. From the corner of my eye, Tundra glanced at the man with a wink, which was returned with a devious grin.

Smoke turned to look at me. His lips forming an entertained smirk, he calmly walked over to me. Staring dead into my eyes, he said, "Yes, I'm still pissed at you, Sub-Zero. I know that I am not showing it on my face, but trust me, I definitely am."

I rolled my eyes once again. "Why should I care, Tomas?"

"Tundra and I got the beatdown of a lifetime because of you, that's why. Not sure if you've noticed, but we're fresh out from the infirmary."

Tundra rubbed the back of his neck. "I just got discharged last week, Smoke. You've been out for two weeks now."

_Are these two morons serious? I don't care about their physical woes,"_ I thought to myself as my brother and the vapor demon blabbed on.

"Whatever, Kuai Liang," Tomas suddenly said. He then glanced at me with a grave expression. "What Tundra says is indeed the truth, but that's beside the point. I'm just here to remind you that it's payback time."

"So _what_?" I chided. Sadly, the Enenra and my younger sibling merely stared at me for what seemed like eons before bursting into hysterical laughter. Their reasons for their amusement was lost on me, and I found myself getting more and more annoyed by the second. I really wanted both of them to leave.

"My Gods, this is just too good," said Kuai Liang, now recovering from his cackle fit. Smoke had long since stopped laughing, and he sat down on the old wooden chair beside the large bay window at the far end of my chamber.

Regardless, I'd finally had enough of their shenanigans. They weren't going to do anything, anyway. I knew them both well enough to know that they were all talk, especially after their beating. That was why I flipped the two best friends off with both of my middle fingers before walking out of my chamber...

* * *

**(Smoke's POV)**

After Bi-Han had left the room, I turned to face my best friend. He now sat on his brother's bed, looking at me with an interested glint in his blue eyes. It was evident that he was very amused about how we'd both managed to make Sub-Zero fluster at the mere reminder of our recent troll.

"I think we pissed him off," Kuai Liang chuffed.

I smirked, pleased at how easy it was for both of us to get under the self-proclaimed emotionless man's skin. "He'll get over it," I replied.

Now, you're probably wondering why Sub-Zero is so bitter toward Kuai Liang and I. Luckily for you, I'm going to be the one to spill the beans. It might make you laugh, and it might not. Regardless, our prank was amazing, and hopefully you'll think the same.

Moving on, the Lin Kuei's been dealing with the Black Dragon Organization quite a bit as of lately. I'm not too sure as to why, but it doesn't matter. What _matters_ is that we've now got advanced technology as a result. Also, because of how sneaky myself and my other brethren typically are, rumors tend to travel fairly quickly here in the Lin Kuei temple.

Well, I'll just get to the point. I was on duty, guarding one of the empty storage rooms in the back of the temple basement, and naturally, I was curious as to why the Grandmaster needed to ensure no one else's entry. I knew that I was not supposed to look behind the door, either, but I couldn't help it. I eventually gave into my curiosity, and I was certainly shocked at the sight of electronic devices. They came in many sizes, shapes, and colors, and I found my discovery extremely fascinating because I'd never seen anything like it before.

I even walked in, looking around for a bit before I decided to get on one of the already set up devices (which I later learned was called a computer). I started messing around with the foreign objects, which wasn't very difficult at all. Not even ten minutes later, I'd even figured out how to use the Internet. After a while, I'd found this site that had some pretty... _questionable_ content.

As a man, seeing a naked woman won't help ease my natural male instincts, and this is especially true when the woman is _very _stunning. The raunchy poses don't help much, either.

"I thought this door was supposed to be guarded. Where the fuck is Smoke?" a voice suddenly whispered. I quickly rendered myself invisible, only to realize that it was Tundra who had walked inside the room. I watched from the shadows as he made his way over to the computer I'd been using, and once he saw the images on the screen, he gasped.

"Well, _that's_ something I don't see every day," I heard him mutter. Apparently he'd noticed something I didn't. A few seconds later, he said, "Tomas, I can sense your chi. Stop trying to hide from me, you moron."

He knew that I was in the room, and I knew that he wouldn't rat me out, either. That's why I decided to make myself visible again. I walked toward him and that was when he motioned to the images on the computer screen.

"Ah, now I know why you were in here. You were checking out some Edenian porn," Tundra chided with a loud chortle. Of course he would try to insinuate that I was looking this crap up on purpose...

"Shut up, Kuai Liang," I growled. "Don't ask me how I found this shit, either. I was just clicking random links and eventually came to this page."

Tundra laughed. "Whatever, man. But, seriously. This chick is pretty stunning." He pointed to another set of photos on the screen, and motioned me over so that I could look as well. On the porn site, there were photos of a familiar, dark-skinned woman with green eyes. Her hair was wavy and dark, and she posed in the nude against a silver stripper pole that glowed with purple neon lights. It took me a good minute and a half to realize exactly who this woman was.

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed.

"What?" Tundra asked. He looked at me with a raised brow.

I shook my head and closed the browser. "That lady in those pictures you just showed me."

"What about her?"

"Was that who I think it was?"

Before the Cryomancer could reply, we were interrupted by an eerily familiar masculine voice.

"Yes, and her name is Jade."

Kuai Liang and I turned around to notice Sub-Zero leaning against the door frame, silently staring at us with a faintly amused smirk. Not only that, though. His erection was poorly hidden by his training pants.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Bi-Han?" I asked. I was seriously worried that he would turn us in and have the Grandmaster beat us like he always did when Tundra and I goofed around.

Bi-Han's smirk turned into a grin. "I was watching you both all this time. Now, I'd hate to have the Grandmaster learn of your little pornographic pursuits, but I think he'd definitely enjoy the news."

And he left to go snitch on us, and that didn't end well because the Grandmaster soon found out about it. He had other Lin Kuei guards drag Tundra and I into the dungeons, but not before flogging both of us with a super thick horse whip. We also got several more beatings before being sent into the infirmary for several weeks. It sucked.

I sighed at the memory. Turning to face Kuai Liang, I said, "I think we can leave your brother alone, man. We've caused enough trouble for the time being."

Tundra sighed. "Fair enough. My back still hurts anyway. Bi-Han's anger isn't worth having our asses kicked by Grandmaster, now that I'm thinking about it."

"I agree. Let's fuck with Cyrax instead."

Tundra's eyes widened. "But you said we've caused enough trouble already!"

I smirked. "Sure did, didn't I?"

"Whatever, Tomas. All I know is that I'm hungry. Let's go check out the menu inside the mess hall."

I smiled at Kuai Liang as we walked out of his brother's chamber and toward the temple cafeteria. Sure, bullying Sub-Zero from time to time was always fun, but I was bored of that. We could always do that another day.

**Fin.**


End file.
